**I don't even know where to begin right now. I suppose I'll begin by writing something from a book that I'm using in my Foundations class. It's something that I had briefly thought about before and it all sort of came back to me when I read this. "At one moment in the course of his development the child, when faced with a series of symbols on a page, finds them quite meaningless. Not much later--perhaps only two or three weeks later--he has discovered meaning in them; he knows that they say "The cat sat on the hat." How this happens no one really knows, despite the efforts of philosophers and psychologists over two and a half millennia to study the phenomenon. Where does meaning come from? How is it that a French child would find the same meaning in the symbols "Le chat s'asseyait sur le chapeau"? Indeed, this discovery of meaning in symbols may be the most astounding intellectual feat that any human being ever performs--and most humans perform it before they are seven years old!" Yeah. So I know that probably sounds corny but whatever. It's just so amazing how the body and mind work. It's amazing that our brain not only controls the functions of our body such as movement and muscles but also how we feel and the way we perceive things. It's just truly amazing. I'm so ready for this semester to be over. I'm ready for Thanksgiving. I'm ready for this weekend. I'm just ready to sleep and sleep and sleep some more. I'm past the stage of being tired and I'm in to the stage of being completely worn out. This usually doesn't happen until April but ah it's happened now and it's only November. I suppose this is what it's all about. I've felt so old lately. Not old in my thoughts for I have acted quite childish lately, but my body feels old. I imagine this has something to do with being sick but I just feel old. I don't know what I'm doing right now at St. Greg's. I'm lost. But, at the same time, I can't imagine being anywhere but here anymore. People are just driving me crazy at such a fast rate. I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive but my energy is draining at a fast rate. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I'm so worn out. I'm just blabbing with no real purpose now. Sometimes it makes things better. I should be working on my presentation for biology lab due next Tuesday. I'm so confident I'll do fine on it. I wish I didn't have that mentatlity. Sometimes I believe that is why I procrastinate so much. Learnning is easy for me and grades are easy for me. They always have been. I'm trying to figure out what I want with my life. I feel like I'm in an inbetween spot in my life right now. I'm too old to be with my younger friends but not old enough to be with the college kids. It's quite a peculiar feeling. I imagine it has something to do with the fact that mostly everyone I hang out with here is older than me. There are a handful of people who are my age that I'm close with. I hate the feelings that I've been having lately. All the jealous and small bursts of energy that seem to come and go. I'm trying to better my relationship with God and His son Jesus. I'm trying to do everything I can to become closer to Him. He is so important to me and it's just so hard sometimes. I feel so guilty when I have these emotions when I'm really trying to do the right thing and be a better person. It's become even worse lately now that I'm on the Buckley Team to think things such as these. It's just not easy at all. I'm going to go now as a little piec of sanity has called me and wants me to hang out with him. Thank the Lord for John and his anti-socialness. I love you all. Jessica Ann | 
